The Lord’s Prayer

By Chudi Okoye

My dearly beloved children
Yes, you my prim and preachy children
You mortals which art on Earth
Mellowed be thy mouth!

You peddle your religion so wantonly
Rattling off your homilies so openly
You try to impress with your virtuous vocabulary
Chastising doubters like a pious constabulary
Lashing ’em with words severe and salivatory
Never for once deigning to be conciliatory.

Oh my children!
You with your pontifical drivel
Swallowed be thy spittle!
Let your deed be done on Earth
Quietly as angels do theirs in Heaven
Show me this day
Your daily dread
Of my Will and my Ordinance
Show me today, you ardent breed
That you have truth in your creed
And sincerity in your high masses
Then I will forgive your trespasses
Sparing you from everlasting lashes.

If you repent not, beloved, in your way
But persist in sin even as you pray –
Mouthing meaningless chants all day
Pouring on to me insincere encomiums
Recited in worshipful pandemonium –
Then you will be led into temptation
You will suffer great condemnation
And you will not be delivered from evil
Or yet be spared the divine anvil
An anvil burning with red hot heat
Like that of the fiery Awka smith.

In your sin you will surely perish
Losing all that you own and cherish
Including your stash of ill-gotten wealth
Salted away somewhere in seedy stealth
For such is not from my kingdom
Nor for my power and my glory
But only reflects your own folly
To elevate you and your own story.

Oh, you fake and misguided breed!
Who like to sow pitiful church seed
Without ever doing a benevolent deed;
You who give me all manner of names –
Chukwu, Allah, Oluwa and Jehova –
Shouting, railing in raving hallelujahs
Claiming at any and every stage
That I created you in my holy image:
Why, children, have you no shame?
Know ye not from whence you came?
It’s really all so laughable and lame!

Listen up, my misshapen children
Until you love well all your brethren
I shall not heed you on your knees
Nor shall I hear your multiple pleas
I shall make you pay an exorbitant fee
If you choose your own glory over me
Yes, you will suffer strife after strife
Which will continue even in afterlife.

But, my beloved, if you pray a little less
Sparing yourselves the panegyric stress
And actually live according to my Word
Which I give as the Almighty, your Lord
Then you will be uplifted and magnified
Your life will be whole and sanctified
There on Earth as it will be in Heaven
For ever and ever
Amen.

April 24, 2019